(men vs. women)

NICKNAMES
If Laura , Susan , Debra and Rose go out for lunch , they will call each other Laura , Susan , Debra and Rose.
But if Mike, Charlie , Bob and John go out for a pint , they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy ,
Goodwill , Peanut - Head , and Useless.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives , Mike , Charlie , Bob and John will each throw in $20.00 even though it's only for $22.50.
None of them will have anything smaller , and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill , out come the pocket calculator's.

MONEY A man will pay 2$ for a $1.00 item he wants. A woman will pay 1$ for a 2$ item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom; a toothbrush , shaving cream , razor , a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one that makes more money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change , but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping , water the plants , empty the garbage , answer the phone , read a book , get the mail.
A man will dress p for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah , children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances , best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.